Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Greatest Puzzle of All Times

Who folds these things anyway?

I can just picture them in the pattern folding factory...

200+ women sit with wide intent eyes, pens posed to start scribbling out notes.
A heavy set man with beady eyes and stained armpits enters the room with a stack of thin, brown paper.
It's clean and flat. No wrinkles. No folds.
He holds it up to the crowed. Waving it to and fro. Letting the wind gently grab the edges and make a fluttering noise.
The excitement builds. The tension grows thick.
Mr. Beady eyes passes out stacks to his minions.
His moist breathing and heavy footfalls echoing in the room.
He takes his place at the front again and from the lectern he pulls out an envelope.
It measures smaller than a Kodak moment.
His voice rumbles like thunder through the room.
The woman jump, the paper crackles.
All eyes widen as they look at the thin, brown papers in front of them.
The door closes. The man is gone.
No worries, no patterns were harmed in the making of this mess.
Okay I lied.
I'm elbow deep in pattern pieces.
Just trying to unfold them now.
I'll let you know if anything comes of it.


Lana M. said...

You're too funny. That's exactly what a folded pattern is like. Perhaps that's why I don't really like to sew!

Helen said...


Stacy said...

I've ripped many a pattern piece in my frustration. True story. And, getting them back into the envelope they came in ? What a joke. More like shove, squish, wrinkle it back in.

NanaDiana said...

To me that is one of the worst parts of sewing. I always iron them before and after I use them. I also cut out every piece whether I am using it or not and iron it and put it in the envelope for "someday". Good luck- xo Diana

Wild Oak Designs said...

I hate patterns they way they are folded and then when you've used them and want to save what you have, trying to get them into the same package is impossible!!
You are so funny.....

Darlene said...

I am so glad I am not the only one who feels stressed over the prospect of unfolding a new pattern. (I'm thinking about how I'm going to get it back into the envelope afterwards. Silly to think I need to try to fold it up as it originally was. But it still niggles at me when I just stuff it back inside. Argh.)