Friday, April 27, 2012

Some People Put It In The Trash For A Good Reason

I'm a trash stealer.
It's an honest occupation.
I only ever do it for very good reasons too.
Like today when I saw a perfectly good basket in our neighbors trash...
I stepped out the door and looked both ways.
Cars were coming from both directions so I stepped quickly back inside.
(Because standing on your front porch looking longingly at your neighbors trash would for sure be noticed by someone passing by at 35mph.)
When the coast was clear I stepped out again.
I had to make a dash across the street to snatch it but in my thrifty mind I had struck gold.
I didn't even bother to see what was in it.
Just grabbed and ran.
I would like to say I wasn't out of breath when I got back inside but I am that out of shape.
Only then did I set my stolen goods down and take a gander at its contents.

It was a real bird.
It was a dead bird.
It stank really bad.

Right now I am rethinking my occupation as a trash stealer.
You just can't trust people to keep their trash clean these days.

No dead birds people!!
No dead birds.



Petit Design Co. said...

oh my goodness, I'm sorry but that was TOO funny. I can't stop laughing. I feel for you, but it's funny! Thanks for sharing

Petit Design Co. said...

ok, ok I'm back. Do you think your neighbors saw you and had a slight chuckle out of sight? :)

Designing Domesticity said...

too funny. thanks for a good laugh this late on a friday afternoon, after a long week. liz

Corn in my Coffee-Pot said...

What are people thinking? throwing away a perfectly good -DEAD BIRD!?!?...
...ha ha ha...that was too funny!
Curb shopping is kind of a crap-shoot anyway,right?

better luck next time.


Jamie said...

Oh, my goodness! I would be just mortified, dry heaving, possibly laughing all at once! That was the funniest story to share with everyone. "No dead birds is right"! ~ Jamie

Helen said...

Hey, I can't tell you how many mouse/rat turds I have cleaned out of my finds. Cobwebs, spiders, etc. I haven't done dead birds yet, but with some soap and water, a little bleach no one would be the wiser... and we don't tell people the whole history of a piece when we sell it!

Cheyenne said...

ha! I just howled!

Ellen said...

Oh my, that's so funny!! Guess next time you will look a bit before picking up! But the basket looks great!

Ellen said...

Oh my, that's so funny!! Guess next time you will look a bit before picking up! But the basket looks great!

Shell said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept looking at the photo & wondering if that was a dead bird lol. Guess now you'll look before you steal trash lol

NanaDiana said...

UGH. AND I am laughing. I junk picked the most beautiful chair out of the garbage one day....on a street in a neighborhood far far away. It weighed about a kagillion pounds but I heaved and shoved and got it into the back of my minivan...with 4 kids in the car complaining to high heaven. As we drove a strong odor started to permeate the car. Uh-huh...Cat pee- and more cat pee- and oh bless us...stinking cat pee.

We made a stop and I put it in someone else's trash pile. I can only imagine what anyone that saw it thought- lol THOSE were the days-xo Diana

Lana M. said...

Gotta say, you made me chuckle. Out loud! Way too funny.

Traci said...

BAWAHAHAHAHA! D-Y-I-N-G laughing!!! We have a "man in a white truck" that comes along on trash day & picks up the "good" trash. I'm going to make his day tomorrow when he finds my dishwasher that actually works out there.

Lady Courtney said...

I needed this...a good laugh! And all the comments, lol!!! I'll bet you are still looking through trash, but maybe looking a little closer? :)

Melissa Martin said...

I just read this to my mom, she and I both were rolling with laughter! She says you are a riot, I have to agree, we both love reading what you write. Still, I think you got a great basket!

Bell Jar Vintage said...

Just found your sight today through Pinterest, and I have been clicking around ever since. Love the blog, and this story just called out to me. So funny! Not just the story, but the storyteller. ;)
I will now be a follower!